Monday, October 13, 2008

Police Stories - India

The Hare runs like crazy through a forest and meets the Wolf. The Wolf asks: "What's the matter? Why such haste?" "The camels there are caught and shod!" The Wolf says: "You're not a camel!" "When you are caught and shod, go then and try to prove them afterwards that you're not a camel!"


The British, the Americans, and the Indian police are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The UN decides to give them a test. They release a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The British police goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The Americans go in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The Indian police goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"


Saare Jahan Se Accha

As we all know, India is the most secular country in the world. Whereas in other countries, people are persecuted for their religion, they will be protected in India? Didn't you know that?

Whereas in countries like Iran, Saudi Arabia, where you can get killed for moving out of Islam or for simply practicing your religion, or places like Malaysia where you are accorded the state religion after death. There are also growing levels of religions intolerance in Russia
“The motives for spreading such hatred are clear – it is an attempt to discriminate and harass the Hindu community in Russia and stop them from building a temple,” explained Ramesh Kallidai, secretary general of the Hindu Forum of Britain. “It is unbelievable that a leader of such a powerful Church can make such disgraceful and dogmatic attempts to instigate tension between different religions. This is completely against all principles of multi-faith co-existence and cooperation that ancient and inclusive religious traditions like Hinduism stand for.”

Did you know that these things can never happen India? The only country in the world where a sikh can become a PM, a muslim and a dalit become Presidents, and a christian can become the leader of the ruling party? What more do they want? New Zealand and USA are aberrations - only once in a blue moon can an Indian become the Governor General of New Zealand or Bobby Jindal can become the Governor of a state!! Let's see if THAT happens again there or anywhere else!!

6 burnt alive - including 3 babies
The victims have been identified as Mahboob Khan (55), Safiya Khan (50), Rizwana Begum (22), Arsulam Khan (6), Numan Khan (3) and Sabat Khan (2).

Where else can we speak out against forced conversions while doing the same?
'Once a Hindu converts, his loyalties shift'
Firstly I would like to say that the VHP has always maintained that it was against conversions. People have been taken to prayer halls forcibly and made to pray four to five times a week [citation required], again forcibly why someone should force people to take up a certain religion? Why do a drama in the name of service to God and then end up converting people? If the Constitution guarantees freedom of religion, the law also says forcible conversion is an offence

Once a Hindu converts, his loyalties too shift. Once a person is converted, his loyalty is to the Vatican. This means we lose one Hindu and gain an enemy in the bargain. Again let me make it clear, we have nothing against Christianity. We are just raising our voice against forcible conversion.

Orissa Christians made an offer they can’t refuse

Many of them want to return to their villages. They say they have been asked to embrace Hinduism, or else they would be either killed or treated as pariahs.

His hands trembled when he picked up the burnt Bible lying near the door. "This was the only religious book I had when I was a Christian. Now even that is no more. I may have turned a Hindu but my heart will never accept this religion," he said.

“I do not have anything else to fall back on. If converting to a different religion ensures safety for my family and me, then let is be so."

A Dalit was shot dead in Nalanda district of Bihar as he tried to make offerings to goddess Durga ahead of upper caste people.

Pregnant women bear the brunt of Orissa violence

That's just religion... don't get me started on language, region , or caste!! And there are more factors I don't even know that exist.

Saare Jahan Se Accha.... Vande Mataram, Vandu Emathrom

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Subprime crisis explained

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought hundreds at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts.

At this point the man announced that he would now buy at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.

The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so limited that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf for him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers, "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 each and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

They never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!

Now you have a better understanding of subprime crisis...

Breaking News

Seen all day today on Indian TV Channels - Amitabh Bacchan not well, complains of tummy-ache, maybe indigestion? FTW!
Headlines Today

Times Now


Some time last year - Amitabh Bacchan catches cold
some hindi news channel

Rahul Gandhi has Dal-Puri and Vegetables for breakfast during some campaign
Aaj tak hindi news channel

Cat climbs on a wall, refuses to come down for 6 hours!!
Aaj Tak hindi news channel

Police Commissioner's lost dog returns!!
Star News hindi news channel

p.s.: Ab's latest news - photos by me, other news items - email forwards...

Tuesday, October 07, 2008


Vanity :-)
I was when I got an email from one guy today..

From: One Guy
Sent: Tuesday, October 07, 2008 2:53 PM
To: Me
Subject: RE: Really GREAT!!Read it...Do we want to be Shopkeepers or customers? --- Must Read

What you said (a year back in the below e-mail) is what is happening now. Great ! You are a real genius !


One Guy

From: Me
Sent: Tuesday, July 10, 2007 12:49 PM
To: Old project folks
Subject: RE: Really GREAT!!Read it...Do we want to be Shopkeepers or customers? --- Must Read

The supposed “Indian economist” who wrote this absurd piece is a complete moron!

Read some quotes from reputable economists, rather than some free market enthusiast who is part of a (imperialistic?) right-wing establishment – the globalization institute (really, that’s the name – – GI has recommended many hare-brained schemes like privatization of public water supply in developing countries, which led to riots in Bolivia, Columbia, Ghana, uruguay, etc. this concept has been banned in other socialist countries like Netherlands!! (bloody commies!!!!)

Stephen Roach, the chief economist of Morgan Stanley, argues that empires are not built on debt and that the explosion of the US asset bubble in the late 1990s revealed the unsustainability of the US position: "This saga is not about the bubble. It is about the unwinding of a more profound asymmetry in the global economy, the rebalancing of a US-centric world . . . History tells us that such asymmetries are not sustainable.

"Can a savings-short US economy continue to finance an ever-widening expansion of its military superiority? My answer is a resounding no. The confluence of history, geopolitics, and economics leaves me more convinced than ever that a US-centric world is on an unsustainable path" (2).


To be fair, thanks to the Federal Reserve's expansionary monetary policies over the past five years, U.S. asset-prices have risen considerably; also known as the "wealth effect". At the end of last year, the market capitalisation of the U.S. stock market rose to a record-high of US$20.6 trillion, matching the value of household real estate, which also rose to a record-high at the same time. On the surface, this may seem like brilliant news, however you must realize that this "wealth illusion" achieved by an ocean of money and record-high indebtedness is only a consequence of inflation. Moreover, history shows that although asset-prices can come down rather abruptly, debt must always be repaid. So, I remain cautious of this engineered American "prosperity".


While you may recommend “borrowing and spending over your limits” remember the time will come when you have to repay these loans… when countries start cashing in their promissory notes and/or securities, then the usa will go into another depression like the 1930’s, while countries which save AND spend, the ones in EU, China, India, will not be affected that much…



From: Another
Sent: Tuesday, July 10, 2007 12:28 PM
To: Old project folks
Subject: FW: Really GREAT!!Read it...Do we want to be Shopkeepers or customers? --- Must Read

Thanks & Regards

Another guy

From: Some other guy
Sent: Tuesday, July 10, 2007 12:21 PM
Subject: Really GREAT!!Read it...Do we want to be Shopkeepers or customers? --- Must Read

An interesting article on USA's Spending, written by an Indian Economist:

Japanese save a lot. They do not spend much. Also Japan exports far more
than it imports. Has an annual trade surplus of over $100 billions. Yet
Japanese economy is considered weak, even collapsing.

Americans spend, save little. Also US imports more than it exports. Has an
annual trade deficit of over $400 billion. Yet, the American economy is
considered strong and trusted to get stronger.

But where from do Americans get money to spend?

They borrow from Japan, China and even India. Virtually others save for
the US to spend. Global savings are mostly invested in US, in dollars.

India itself keeps its foreign currency assets of over $50 billions in US
securities. China has sunk over $160 billion in US securities. Japan's
stakes in US securities is in trillions.


The US has taken over $5 trillion from the world. So, as the world saves
for the US, Americans spend freely. Today, to keep the US consumption
going, that is for the US economy to work, other countries have to remit
$180 billion every quarter, which is $2 billion a day, to the US!

Otherwise the US economy would go for a six. So will the global economy.

The result will be no different if US consumers begin consuming less.

A Chinese economist asked a neat question. Who has invested more, US in
China, or China in US? The US has invested in China less than half of what
China has invested in US. The same is the case with India. We have
invested in US over $50 billion. But the US has invested less than $20
billion in India.

Why the world is after US?

The secret lies in the American spending, that they hardly save. In fact
they use their credit cards to spend their future income. That the US
spends is what makes it attractive to export to the US. So US imports more
than what it exports year after year.

The result:

The world is dependent on US consumption for its growth. By its deepening
culture of consumption, the US has habituated the world to feed on US
consumption. But as the US needs money to finance its consumption, the
world provides the money. It's like a shopkeeper providing the money to a
customer so that the customer keeps buying from the shop. If the customer
will not buy, the shop won't have business, unless the shopkeeper funds
him. The US is like the lucky customer. And the world is like the helpless
shopkeeper financier.

Who is America's biggest shopkeeper financier? Japan of course. Yet it's
Japan which is regarded as weak. Modern economists complain that Japanese
do not spend, so they do not grow. To force the Japanese to spend, the
Japanese government exerted it self, reduced the savings rates, even
charged the savers. Even then the Japanese did not spend (habits don't
change, even with taxes, do they?). Their traditional postal savings alone
is over$1.2 trillions, about three times the Indian GDP. Thus, savings,
far from being the strength of Japan, has become its pain.

Hence, what is the lesson?

That is, a nation cannot grow unless the people spend, not save. Not just
spend, but borrow and spend. Dr. Jagdish Bhagwati, the famous Indian-born
economist in the US, told Manmohan Singh that Indians wastefully save. Ask
them to spend, on imported cars and, seriously, even on cosmetics! This
will put India on a growth curve. "Saving is sin, and spending is virtue."
Before you follow this neo economics, get some fools to save so that you
can borrow from them and spend.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Poem 2

Vasco da Gama
Went to a drama
Without pyjama
People said
Ayyo Rama!

Elephants never forget

A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot.

There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.

As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted it's front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man. The man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.

The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Diary of an MBA

Dear Diary,

I can't hold myself down. My FIRST day on the job!! And I like it already.

"Assistant Junior Deputy to the Vice Chairman - Manufacturing" . My dad was thrilled when he heard my designation.

"What the f!@#!!!" were his exact words. Oh I love it when my parents are happy...

Need to meet HR in half an hour. I can't wait to get my first Employee ID Card and cubicle. I hope Parthasarathy Whatayblouse Crappers (PWC) is the beginning of great things.

P.S. I have brought my favorite textbooks back from the institute OD, OM and HR should help me grow rapidly in the organization. And I WILL handle soft issues before facing hard issues here at PWC.

July 28th

Dear Diary,

Had a lot of fun with HR yesterday. The guy who had recruited me had left a month ago. So they didn't know I was joining. We had a hearty laugh over that one.

I'll get my cubicle in a few days time. For the time being I am sharing a nice one with Claire. She's with Corporate Communication.

The phone doesn't work though...

August 2nd

Dear Diary,

Met my boss today. He spent a lot of time with my CV and then asked me how I managed to get a job with them. (Even he knows how lucky they are to get me..) He told me to review our material ordering system in the err... umm... the... the "big yellow and blue noisy machine section" of the plant.

Claire is working on an "Our Employees Love Us" campaign. The office boy had just resigned. So she got me to pose with an apron and a tray of cookies for a photo. They are going to call me Ramon and use it for ads. I am going to be famous.

August 7th

Dear Diary,

My first breakthrough. I have decided to order nickel ball bearings using the EQO.. QEO... whatever formula. It takes into account item cost, holding cost and weight of ball bearing I think. The purchase guy gave me a funny look when he saw my annual requisition contract form. He is obviously not an MBA...

Claire resigned today. She told me carry on with the "Our Employees Love Us" campaign.

P.S. Lesson for the week. You cannot order 0.7564 of a ball bearing. It has to be in whole numbers.

August 11th

Dear Diary,

I just got a shipment of 4384 ball bearings. I checked up with Engineering.

They said that should be enough for around 14 years of requirement. I gave them 3 and stashed away the rest in a cupboard in my room. If prices of ball bearings go up, I see a lot of potential savings.

I have decided to develop informal channels of communication. From tomorrow I will spend a little time next to the coffee machine to understand the unspoken messages within the underbelly of the firm.

(That OD book is good)

August 14th

Dear Diary,

I sent my first official letter today. It was to our Facilities manager Merry Le Bian. She is a hottie. I told her that the Coffee Machine takes too much time to reheat between refills. Wrote it in a WAC format and all with a table of contents and everything. She is sure going to be impressed!! I spell checked it in MS word and emailed it to her an hour ago. No reply yet.

They scrapped the "Our Employees Love Us" campaign. The photo shoot was taking up too much time, and people were being forced to stay late without extra pay. Someone finally went and vandalised the banner. It now reads "Our Employers Shove Us". I offered to model for all the snaps and videos. They called me a dickhead. I was delighted. Dickhead is internal slang for "Big Stud". HR told me. Everyone calls me that...

P.S. One more shipment of ball bearings came. Again 4384. The contract can't be changed now. I dont have too much space left in my cupboard.

August 25th

Dear Diary,

My letter came back. It had a pink post-it on it from Merry. "Please proofread" it said. It was CC'd to my boss. How was I supposed to know MS Word would spell check her name and change it to Merry Lesbian????! !!!

Where's natural justice?

Today five minutes before a meeting the cupboard door broke open. It took me ten minutes to pick up all the ball bearings from the floor. I had to run to the board room for the meeting and slipped on a bearing which rolled under the door. I fell on the coffee machine and tipped coffee powder into the polymer mixing matching tray. No one saw anything.

P.S. Sorry for the long break. My computer crashed. There was a mail from an old friend. She's now married into the Welchia family I think.

Crashed after that. Strange name that Welchia...

September 2nd

Dear Diary,

My boss told me I may not last the probation period. I was mighty thrilled to hear that. Imagine!! Permanent in less than three months!!

That should be some sort of company record.

I made a presentation to all the staff yesterday. Some 300 people were there. I think I sent good vibes. Everyone was smiling and nodding their heads during the presentation. Someone later told me my fly was open the whole time. But I don't think anyone noticed. The presentation was on "An Open Culture: Let the feeling show!!"

p.s. 17156 ball bearings. I floated a scheme to give each employee a ball bearing for every year of service. The HR manager immediately convened a meeting with my boss. Every suggestion counts here at PWC.

September 4th

Dear Diary,

I have been transferred to the office in Sub-Saharan Africa . I will be heading the Room Heater and Hot Water Geyser products division. They have also told me to pay for all the ball bearings I bought. I think it speaks much of the entrepreneurial spirit. I have been told to leave immediately for Kujumbinana.

P.S. A foreign posting in under a year!!!

September 5th

Dear Diary,

I am in Kujumbinana. We don't have a branch here...

Grape Juice

A farmer handed an empty bottle to his farm- hand and asked him to get him some grape juice from the juice stall down the road.

"What about money?" asked the man?

"Any fool can buy grape juice if he has money," replied the farmer. "The skillful man is he who can buy grape juice WITHOUT money!"

The farm-hand returned after a while. "Here's your grape juice." he said, handling over the bottle to his employer.

"Hey, but there's nothing in it!" said the farmer, peering disappointedly into the bottle.

"Why don't you try drinking it?" suggested the man. "Any fool can drink grape juice when it is there. It requires skill to drink it when it is NOT THERE!"


I prayed to God,
Lord! Take me away!
God replied, I will take thee,
what shall I tell her,
she who prayed for your long life?

Friday, September 12, 2008

Hindi as the "National Language"?

What's your thought on the whole "national language" debate in India? Any discussion forum talking about this issue is polarized into two groups. One group says the national language is Hindi and it is said so in the Constitution. The other group says there is no national language (or 22 national languages) and that's what is mentioned in the Constitution. Irrespective of the facts, what are your thought's?

Just for the record:
According to the official version of the Constitution, there is no mention of a/22 national language(s). However, there is a directive for development of Hindi...

Note: I am copy-pasting all the comments received in the comments section. It is meant to simulate yahoo answers, where the question was originally asked.

Anti-south Songs Updated

Updates to the Lyrics

Hotel Kerala-Fonia

Sambar of '69

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Anu Shakti Indica-Americana's Open Letter

something good on rediff...

I am just one day old, I am newly born Nuke Power in India by the NSG approval and Indo-US congress marital agreement. In just one day I felt so many critisism about my birth, even my legs has been stretched from both supporters and opponents. I am happy as I am the only child born by male mr. Singh, who was driven by female mrs Gandhi as well as NRI Mr Bush.

As some community and party like BJP and CPI-M are not happy with my birth because they all actually want to be guardian or parent of me.

Today, I am just small, if my parents (Singh & Gandhi) will allow me then in my young age I will only serve the people or party who had supported of my birth. Rest all opponent will not get any of my service. I think this would be the best punishment for them.

As here with my first letter I am warning all the party/people/individual, whoever is not happy with my birth, they will never get light from me.

Everybody are fighting and pulling others leg but none are thinking about my growth and usage. I know if I will be used by wrong hand then I can be a Bomb and I can even destroy entire world. Whether I will be terrorist Nuke-Bomb or your life by Nuke-Power, it all depends on you.


Friday, September 05, 2008

Iron Bridge, Chennai

One of the famous landmarks in Chennai, it is now known as Napier Bridge. I vaguely remember a time (80s and pre-IT 90s) when it was called the Iron Bridge. Why and when was it renamed as Napier Bridge?

This is one of the earliest structures to use RCC (re-inforced concrete). The design seems to be very popular, i have seen it in so many bridges, mostly in Tamil nadu.
Photo: Thanks to Velachery Balu

Petrol Saving Techniques

· Ride at a constant smooth speed. Maintain the speed around 40 kmph inside the city, and around 60 on the highways.

· Be in the right gear for the right speed. Step-up and Step-down gears at the correct RPM. Let the engine hum, not whine. Don't race the engine. In addition to wasting petrol, it will reduce the life of your engine.

· Avoid breaks, instead let the natural breaking of the engine slow your vehicle down

· Avoid clutch riding. It will not save fuel.

· Keep a safe distance between you and the vehicle in front of you, atleast 2 metres. 1 metre if the traffic is heavy. If the traffic is bumper-to-bumper, none of these will be applicable, anyway.

· Stick to ordinary petrol, and avoid branded petrol - they cost more and give slightly more mileage. The increase in mileage is not worth the extra money.

· Find short routes between two places. This is becoming important in Chennai due to congestion along almost all main roads, and circuitous one-ways. I won't recommend breaking rules, however, like, inching against traffic on the wrong side of the road, going the wrong way in one-way streets.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008


Yesterday I started Internet Explorer (Death to the Infidel) to download Firefox (PBUH).
Today I started Firefox (Death to the Infidel) to download Chrome (PBUH 2.0)
Tomorrow I will start Chrome (Death to the Infidel) to download the new Browsah Messiah (PBUH)!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Free Wifi Hotspots in Chennai

Those searching for Wifi Hotspots in Chennai and landing on this page, if you know of/find any other place, please post that here.

Are there any wifi hotspots in chennai? Where i can go with my laptop and hangout?

I tried the one in Ascendas ITPC. But the guys there told me it's monday to friday only , though i got some decent connection for some time on saturday also. I had to buy some overpriced food to sit in their food court.

I heard there are hotspots in the Airport and Central station. Obviously, i can't go to the airport just for wifi. How about central?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Chennai, then and now

Chennai 1925

Chennai 2008

I was walking from Park Town station to Park station when I stopped and remembered the vintage photo. I tried to capture central station like it was in the picture, but looks my memory failed me to get a close replica.

For sale, fraud

If a 2 rupee coin can be sold for 300 times its value, because it contains an elephant, then jesus is my uncle. Ganesha is an elephant, ergo, all elephants are ganesha? No wonder we worship cows and monkeys and elephants and snakes.

Thursday, June 12, 2008


One of the few Indians who's lifted by others - A R Rahman.
Even if I am not fanatic about his music, I like it. A R Rahman definitely defined the Generation X in India and lifted Tamil movies music out of the rut especially the pathetic post-disco music. Being a city boy, i could never identify with the "sound of village". Maybe a lot of people liked it and like it, i never did and may never will. A R Rahman gave the paisans something to dance to.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Nonsensical Gibberish

Interesting observation

Tales of the tainted governor took up so much ink and airtime that the potentates of the press didn't even notice the sex scandal that claimed the career of another powerful hypocrite: Tehran's brutal police chief, General Reza Zarei. The general, a favorite of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has been responsible for "moral enforcement" of Sharia law, including "dress codes" that require women to be covered from head to toe. The chief "stepped down" after he was caught nude in a Tehran brothel accompanied by six naked prostitutes. It's a shame our press corps missed this one.

A situation like this, those talking about morality of others, are not so innocent, should we reexamine Sushma Swaraj and her ban on FTV, leading to me cursing her till now?

I cant control myself even imagining this hot grandma watching something more than FTV...