Saturday, October 20, 2012

Breaking News: Sidharth Mallya found reading "Rich Dad Poor Dad"

Faster they go up, faster they come down. Same with the guy who took offense to be called the "liquor baron". Remember him saying he will be India's Richard Branson? He was out to prove it by building a huge empire of airlines (Kingfisher), sports (Royal Challengers), tv (Vijay TV) etc., aside his spirits business. Finally, it appears Vijay Mallaya owes all his wealth to inheriting from his daddy through his license controlled alcohol business, polished thuggery and politics. I am not sure if he has any understanding or wits to run a business like an entrepreneur. Maybe he did, and this is just a bad patch. I can't comment - I haven't even run a banana stand to know how things work.

Friday, June 01, 2012

Are our lives in danger?

Every single day you walk through buildings that are threaded with long pieces of metal that are filled with lethal amounts of bound and depleted lightning. If you drive, you are inside a metal and plastic box that uses controlled explosions to propel you along paths made of the remains of ancient plants and animals, combined with crushed rocks. When you want to talk to someone far away, your voice gets turned into the same depleted lightning, and is transmitted both through long metal pieces and air so fast that the conversation seems nearly instantaneous. If you think about how much of our day-to-day life depends on the use of things that could kill us being bound precisely in a stable manner, it's a little frightening.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Customer: My car isn't working and I need you to fix it immediately, this is an emergency

Mechanic: Alright sir what seems to be the problem?

Customer: I don't know, I tried to use my car on friday and it didn't work, now it's monday and I need to get to work and I can't and this needs to be fixed right now.

Mechanic: Can you start the car? Can you even get into your car? Does it make any sounds when you try to start it? Are all 4 tires there?

Customer: I don't know, I don't know what any of that stuff means, I tried to get to work and it wouldn't let me and you need to fix it now because you changed my oil 6 months ago.

Mechanic: Alright well what kind of car are you driving?

Customer: I don't know, a green one, why does that matter?

Mechanic: Please take a look at the back of your car and see if there are any letters or numbers that would indicate a vehicle model or manufacturer

Customer: Ok, my car is a SV2 87K.

Mechanic: No sir that's your license plate. My records indicate that you drive a Nissan Altima, can you confirm that the key you're using to try and get into this car says Nissan on it?

Customer: My key says Lexus but I don't see how that makes a difference, I've been using this key on this car for years and it's always worked, what did you do to my car?

Monday, April 23, 2012

Limitations of pithy sayings

If "you are what you eat" is true, then we all have to be cannibals.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Lucky to have the same feelings as celebrities

Did you know that people of Mumbai were fortunate enough to have felt the same tremors that Amitabh Bacchan felt?

Among those who felt the tremors in Mumbai were megastar Amitabh Bachchan, who
resides in suburban Juhu. "Earthquake in Mumbai ! Did you feel it.. I
did..Shutters and building shook twice for few seconds," Mr Bachchan
-Report from NDTV - i wonder who is the monkey that wrote this.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

2nd time Dhanush has let us down

This is the second time that Rajinikanth's son in law Aadukalam Dhanush has let us down - he didn't save anyone from Japan tsunami nor did he come to Marina beach today to swim in the tsunami.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

History as taught in school

Who would've thought!! Cleopatra was the ruler of Egypt, Egypt is in Africa, ergo Cleopatra was African - turns out Egyptians are different from Africans, and Cleopatra was Greek, not African (not even North African) as we were taught in school! The more you know...

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Back to blogging

I was using facebook to share with the rest of the world what a good writer, thinker i was and it started sucking after a few weeks. Persistance is lost and I have to compete with more important photos and idiotic posts about why their politician/god/movie star/person in the occupation of the day was the best for eye-balls and mindspace. Archival sucked big time too, I was not able to link to something i wrote earlier - i couldn't find it in the first place, and i can't link. My audience was limited to my friend circle and remotely thoughtful posts in friends' wall was limited to their friend circle. How else can i ejaculate my mind to the world? As long as blogger is free, i will be here.