Bloody

My boss has gone for a conference in the US and he wants to manage me from there, so he tells me to install MSN messenger in my computer. But, the IT guys won't let me have that on my computer because 'Chatting is not allowed in the company.'
I just went ahead and installed trillian, much better than that and it doesn't need an administrator to install it. Bloody hell!

WooHoo!

A part of my job is to scan international forums, newspapers for economic trends and other such boring crap. My image of an average American. I know all Americans are not like this, but still it is fun to 'Think like an American.'

Howdy, I am an American dude. Long live globalization. We just wanna ensure that you get the same quality stuff as we do. WTO is only for your good. I want you to use the products made by an American company. Drink only Coke (or pepsi), eat only from McDonalds (or subway), wear only Nike, should buy only Dell computers, listen to only american music and watch only American TV channels. It is for your own good that you have to open up your economies. Buy oil only from American oil companies and drive only Ford. Fly only Boeings and attack your neighbours only with weapons made in the USA. They will also use the same weapons because they have to protect themselves, you see! Don't buy any aeroplanes from Airbus because they are made by the French (spit on them). If it weren't for us you would be speaking German, you ungrateful ingrates.

NO! I won't tolerate trade agreements. They are fair only when we open polluting factories in your third world country. Only talented americans are brilliant enough to do other jobs. The jobs should stay only here. We wan't your money only, not the skirt wearing, curry eating, turbanheads. Don't open anymore software companies, or call centres. Those are jobs are meant only for Americans. Shoo! SHoo!! Globalization is acting against the interests of the American people. BRING USA OUT OF WTO and the commie, new world order shit called United Nations. UN is useless, just look at how corrupt that Kofi Annan's son is. He is fully responsible for all that happened in that damned Iraq. Now look at North Korea and Iran. They are making nucular bombs only because UN and that commie China is helping them. (What? China is our ally now?) OK, not China, they are good people. Psyche! they are bad because walmart outsources to them and walmart sucks.

Go back to your Bombay in Hindoo-istan, you stinking rag-head. I called an AT&T call centre and they forwarded me to some thick accented bitch who couldn't understand anything I said. So I just abused her and told her some racial jokes. I could hear her crying, ha ha ha! Suits you, bitch.

Just don't become commies or we would bomb you back to stone age. Wait, there ain't no commies no more (grin). Ah, yes, you are either with us or you are against us, so we will bomb you back to stone age along with the rest of the axis of evil. You will feel the full heat of the Crusade(TM) in the name of our God, Lord Bush. We will torture^W abuse your men, kill unarmed civilians and call them terrorists but we will not subjugate ourselves to the Geneva Convention. We won't agree to international laws because they are anti-US, so screw your Human Rights, you undemocratic pigs. You are just jealous of our freedom and progress. Maybe we should invade your country, kill all your leaders and convert you to Christianity.

Thank You, have a nice day.
God Bless America.

Whoa! I scare myself.

power trips

I shook hands with the CEO and the CTO, in a single day!

My Boss is going on a US trip.

How fast can I organize a coup? Musharaf, help me here!!