Saturday, October 09, 2004

Vegetarians

I don't hate vegetarians, I hate those vegetarians who take time off from whatever they are doing and preach me about the evils of eating meat. Some of these are guys who smoke like a chimney and/or drink like a fish, but will always say eating meat is the greatest sin in the world. Unlike smokers who kill others with second-hand smoke or social drinkers who become anti-social after they drink, whom am I harming? They also say man was not designed to eat meat. Why the hell do we have those canine teeth, incisors and pre-molars and the whole food-chain thing? Man was never designed to eat only plants. There are some who convert even their dogs into vegetarians, like Maneka Gandhi. Her favourite reason for not eating meat is that meat-eaters' doodoo stink. Big deal, everybody's does. A big disadvantage of going out with vegetarians is that you never get to eat decent food. They pull you to a high-priced vegetarian restaurant where even the spiciest dish is bland and you have to eat a lot to fill your stomach.

Placements End

Removed on request

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Day 0

Removed on request

Snakes

Civilisation vs wilderness, there is always one loser. In this case, it is the native plants and animals and sometimes native culture that have thrived for centuries before someone's idea of civilisation caught up with them. What is this civilisation anyway? The culture of the alpha-pack, or the culture that is militarily strong is the standard for civilisation. The Aryans, Israelites, Romans, Persians, Europeans have dictated before and now the Americans dictate what is civilisation and what is not. The Chinese would have come in the place of Europeans only if the Europeans hadn't discovered clockwork.

In our insti, there used to be a lot of snakes, scorpions and many other animals before someone decided to build a hospital there. Where man goes, he takes his Gods there. In this case, it is a Shiva temple, so that the patients and their relatives could pray for them to get cured. Now, instead of a hospital and sick residents, it is a management institute and management students.

There have been quite a few encounters with snakes and scorpions here. Ever since we came here, only one guy has been stung by a scorpion while a couple of guys have seen snakes crawl by. What else can one expect in a place that is surrounded by fields and granaries? Land attracts man, he grows grains, grains attract rats, rats attract snakes, snakes end up dead even when they are just helping man. Still, they are the bad guys.

We consider them a nuisance and are told to be careful of them. Or is it the otherway? In reality, we are the intruders and they must be careful of us. Animal scientists say that the fear is mutual. While they attack only when they are cornered or put in immediate danger, we carry out 'pre-emptive strikes'. Just out of fear and our own stupidity, we strive to make these lands 'fit' for human living. Guess you cannot blame Bush for pre-emptive strikes against the Iraqis and the Presidents before him for hitting out at anyone who has leftists leanings. They are, after all, men!

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Summer Placements

Removed on request

USA 2004

I was going through my stash of comics and I came across this.



The Presidential Elections in USA is towards the fag end. Who wins this election is a great concern for many Americans. For the rest of the world, the stake is not USA but the World, and mankind. It doesn't matter who wins. Both will continue to make a mess out of the world and screw up other countries to 'protect the interests of America, the most powerful and the greatest country in the world. God bless America.' Only the intensity and speed at which they go about it will be different.

Cowboy Bush will go full steam ahead in the middle-east as he did in Iraq. What can we expect next? Iran? Syria? Kerry might be a little slower but they are made of the same metal. Both will give Billions of Dollars in aid to Israel and Pakistan, aim towards total immunity from International Laws for Americans and their soldiers.

Which one will be better for India? We cannot say anything for sure. Bush pushes for free trade but his governors don't want that. Kerry wants to protect, and may do so, or maybe not.

Whatever happens, I just hope we are not left in a worse position than now.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Weasels

Wherever you go, there are some guys who wait for you to finish all the work and then get credit for it by claiming that they did it themselves without anybody's help. I talked about this guy, who fought with me over making a small presentation. Today, I got to see 'his part' of the assignment. Basically, it was the same. He had changed the template, removed a couple of my slides, added a couple of slides of his own, listing a few websites, and that was it. Nothing else was done. He had excluded the work of the third member as he claimed they were 'not up to the mark'.

In the class today, he came to me and said, 'you have done most of the work, so you can relax for the next assignment'. But to others, he was giving the impression that he had done all the work himself and how I fought with him to dodge my work. I am sure the next assignment would also be done by me and he would try to get all the credits. He also did not send me the completed file so that I could prepare for the presentation. When I asked him about that in the class, he acted surprised - 'oh, you want to present too?'

He is one of those guys who can talk for hours non-stop about nothing. He started the presentation and then tried to do all the talking himself. It was a presentation on ethics and the duties of companies towards customers and all the examples that I had given, he explained then wrong! I thought he could not steal everything for himself! and I presented a small portion of it. After a few slides, he told me in front of everybody that he would take it from there. Again, he explained the examples wrong.

During the Q&A session, a few questions were asked about the companies mentioned, and he said that he got those in 'some web site', and 'does not remember where'. Did I tell you he was a weasel?

Humour in class

Most of the classes in MBA are as plain as a grey suit. Then there are some serious classes where humour flows from the students, however unintentional. Consumer Behaviour (affectionately called 'con bee'). The professor is the strictest that is around and penalises a whole study group for the lapse of just one student in class. His classes have produced many gems from the students.

A few days back, the prof was discussing about BCG matrix. BCG matrix is a 2x2 matrix developed by the Boston Consulting Group to classify the projects or products in the portfolio of a company according to the market share and growth potential. The four categories are Cashcow, Stars, Dogs and Question-marks.

Cashcow is called so because it has a stable market, large market share and money is 'milked'. Stars are those projects which are growing and have a large market share. They are the cashcows of the future. Question marks are business units that have a small share in a high growth market.

When the student was asked why the 'Dog' was called so, he earnestly replied, "Sir, they are projects that cannot be 'milked' and also dogs cannot be 'milked', so they are called dogs" :)

The correct answer is, dogs are pets and those projects classified as dogs are pet projects of someone high ranking. This is the only reason why those projects are still in the company.

Same class, different session, there was this Harvard case about the Coca-Cola Coke fiasco. One student supposed to present it, started his presentation by declaring that 'even Harvard professors could not solve the case, and the onus has shifted to us'. Later during the presentation, he came upon the fact that the average age of the top management in Coca-Cola (in 1985) was 70. He said as a matter of fact that, most of the top management were dying, and as this 70 was the average age, there are much older people still in the top management.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Foundation Day

This is the season when most of the schools, colleges and universities all over India celebrate their Annual Day, or as it is being called now, Foundation Day. What's wrong the old name anyway? Our's was today. Today was when the Institute was dedicated to the nation. Actually it was yesterday, on M. Gandhi's Birthday. But, to gain an extra holiday, it is on the 3rd. How clever is that?

I was sleeping in my room, with The Zombies, Strawberry Alarm Clock and Jefferson Airplane having a private Woodstock in my dreams. My friend banged on the door and reminded me about the 'speech' that was starting in a few minutes. Grumblingly, I got my arse off the bed and waddled towards the auditorium. I thought I could continue my sleep over there.

Every founding day we have one 'eminent' person from the industry or the government coming to our insti and giving a speech. This year it was Ms. Anu Aga from Thermax. Before she started, I thought, great! Yet another speech in praise of IIMs, IITs, and the Director. After she started, I realised my mistake. She was bang to the point and started her experience of turning around her company from a deep hole in the ground. Ofcourse, there was some tooting of her own horn, but it was not nauseating. She was succint and told about the history of the company, the difficulties involved and how she managed the problems. Never once did she use the standard speil, Oh! IIMs and IITs are the brain of India, blah blah.

The speech was worth the hour spent. Then we had tea and snacks, I came back to my room satisfied :)