Thursday, May 19, 2005

Why me Lord?

It happened to me before, and it has happened again.
Earlier, it was gmail that generated a random naughty word, now it is the turn of hotmail to say something naughty.

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There was also this website which had a file named dennisexplains.pdf (dennis explains, something about his book) and that was blocked.

When I talk to the IT 'admin' (I may be using the world loosely here), he says no websites have been blocked and why I want to download them anyway. His machine is not routed through the proxy, so hecould download it for me. When he finds out that ebook had only 2 pages, he asks me why I want to download something which has only 2 pages. He proceeds to take a print out of the book and give it to me instead of just sending the electronic version to me. It was easier to type the whole thing than argue with him and get it sent to me.

One of my 'duties' is to go through the share market website and analyst websites for news about some companies, but I can't do it, because the brilliant people here decided to name the main index as sensex and that has a forbidden word in it.

Aargh!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I am afraid the honeymoon between me and my manager might be getting over now. I have one day to complete a project which got postponed three weeks due to some 'emergency' assignments. So, a random bunch of Office Spacesque quotes.

I'm gonna have to ask you to go ahead and stop posting now, mmkay?

I was told that I could post a reasonable number of times from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to post, then I should be able to post so I don't see why I should have to stop posting because I enjoy posting a reasonable number of times from nine to eleven.

Oh, and remember, next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans while posting, you can do that.

No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked postin' something like that, man.

What if we're... still postin’ this when we're fifty?

I'm gonna have to go ahead and ask you to post this Saturday, mmmkay? Oh, and I almost forgot. I'm gonna have to go ahead and ask you to post on Sunday too.

Hell, I heard after making this post she fucked Lumbergh.

All your cares and concerns about posting melt away as you go into a state of complete relaxation.

Two posts at the same time...

I'll be showing her my p'O'st face. p’O’st p’O’st!

Hey Lawrence, you wanna come over?
No thanks dude! I don't need you fucking up my post too.

There was salt on the post, BIG grains of salt.

You know Michael, there comes a post in a mans life, and maybe for you that post is now, when you should start thinking about the future...

Now Milton, don't be greedy, lets pass it along and make sure everyone gets a post.
Yeah, but last time I didn't receive a post.

I used to be on the post, but now I am clean.

Umm.... I'm gonna have to ask you to go ahead and move this post down to the basement.

Check out channel 9, it's the Office Space blog! Shit, man, I thought you'd want to see this.

That would be that mat, with all sorts of topics for posts written on it, that you could jump to.
This is the worst post I’ve have ever read.

mmm, I'm gonna set this post on fire...

This post has "upper management" written all over it.

I hope your postings go well.

You know the jar with posts that you just take it. The jar is there for you to take the post, we just do the same a couple of million times with a much larger jar.

Ok. And how's that not stealing?

you know...i never really liked to post...guess i won´t post anymore

I told those fudge packers that I liked Michael Bolton's posts.

Hail Lumbergh!

Monday, May 16, 2005

Satriani in Mumbai


Joe Satriani played in Mumbai, like some of his friends did - Mark Knopfler, Rolling Stones, and Sting in New Delhi. And, because Bangalore is an 'international city', they make it their stop. I don't know about Bangalore, but I know for sure the dud-heads in Mumbai and New Delhi, the 'international cities of India', would not even know how to pronounce the names of these gurus, let along understand what they do. The Satriani Concert was Friday evening, at 7 pm and I was told I had to be there at 5.30 pm! WTF!! that is not the time to hold some concert! the sun doesn't set in the Arabian coast till 7.30. MORONs!!!! The tickets were too costly and too cumbersome to get, so I skipped this with tears. For a guy like Satriani, there should have been more publicity atleast more coverage. And there was none! Had he did a gig in Chennai, he would have played to a full house.

My favourite review came from rediff.com, the best parts of which are below.

Well, if he is the God of Guitar, Saint Joe, Mumbai is a land of pagans.

Half of them weren't altogether certain that the bald feller with shades wrapped around his head was the Satriani. And don't even get me started on the average mispronunciation of the name school kids all over the guitar-playing world, holding their first electric axe, worship.

out in the front, Mumbai's schmoozerati bubbled around, chattering while the musician played, every now and then looking in front, nodding their heads and pretending to know just why that moment was so special.

And then I crash landed when, while the master nimbly crafted the classic Flying in a blue dream, I overheard a boy in a Satriani T-shirt, in knowledgeable tones, tell a few listening acolytes, "Ah, that's Cool No 9."

I refused to stifle my groan.

this was one helluva effort because it tried to take a Mumbai crowd and expose it to a musician they mostly didn't know, playing three hours of music. Without words.

What resulted was dismal: the crowd was unappreciative.

Yes, let's not count the metalheads in front tossing up the headbanger's devil sign with their fingers while Satriani, by his own admission, tried to play "something spacey."

Some of these heavy music maniacs actually began filing out even before the show hit the half-way mark, and the unpacked ground never really behaved like a concert.

If we can't assure them that much -- while it pains me to say this -- I suggest we don't invite them.
And Joe gives them the universal symbol of appreciation.