Monday, October 18, 2004

India rennt

"The game lasts 90 minutes. That's a fact. Everything else is just theory." - Run Lola Run (1999). What if we were colonialised by the French, Danish, Portugese or Dutch instead of the British?

Had the French succeeded,
»India wouldn't have been as big, the states would be independent, like Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam
»Even if we were like today, Pondicherry would be the capital of L'Inde
»French would be the lingua franca
»Uprising against the French occupation would have brought the USA to save us from Communism, à la Vietnam

Had the Danish been the rulers,
»Tranquebar would've been the capital. Hard to say, they were poor colonizers.

Had the Dutch conquered us
»We would be called the Indische and Travancore our capital city
»We would be speaking a mutant of Dutch and Malayalam
»Apartheid, enough said

Portugese?
»Quarter of the men would be named Jésus
»Bombay the capital
»We would be falar portugese
»Outsiders would think Hispanics are the native population while the native population would be decimated by ¾ths and the rest relegated to the ghettos like in the Latin American countries

The only advantage in all these? No Pakistan to fight with us.

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