Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Guilt

When I got my first month's stipend/salary this summer, I went with my friends to Planet Yumm on 13th Main Road. There is a small number of huts just behind it. Whenever I go that way, I see the glass walls of the building, the fancy cars parked by it, and the naked kids from the huts playing by the cars. I see the same in Mumbai, near my father's house. Whenever I go to McD or Pizza Hut, I see the same kids peering through the windows inside where the rich kids indulge themselves with all kinds of goodies, getting a happy meal with a toy to add to their already huge collection of toys. Everytime I feel the same way, bad about myself. Looking at them, and looking at myself, spending way too much than I would need. This time, I was only spending what I righteously earned with my hardwork. What if I spend it on myself? I should not feel guilty, right? Why should I feel guilty for these kids? The same thoughts occur when I am playing with my cousin's toddler. I see him playing with his toys, I see the iron wallah's son outside playing with a plastic toy discarded by someone like my nephew. The same sickening feeling. Should I even worry at all? I am confused. What's worrying is, I can't lamely convince myself about it like I do for children working in my insti mess.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

think u shoulder the burden of dis world?

October 21, 2004 3:22 PM  

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