Wednesday, May 17, 2017

I have slipped through the cracks at my company and have not done anything for the past month

As the title implies I have been going into work for the past month, sitting at my desk and surfing the web (mostly reddit) or playing computer games silently, and then going home.
Some backstory, I used to work in a department that was quite autonomous within the company and was actually created by my boss who was an associate VP in the company. I was hired directly (circumventing the usual HR procedures) by my boss as an executive assistant because he was a family friend. It was a pretty decent paying job for a recent grad and I was kept moderately busy answering calls, scheduling, preparing presentations/reports, etc.
However, my boss was fired last month and the department was shutdown (my company leases office buildings and my boss wanted to start leasing industrial properties as well and failed) so all the coworkers in my department were either let go or reassigned. The problem is that when HR was going through this process and interviewing my coworkers, I was never called to meet with them (probably due to the way I was hired).
While my department was being dismantled I kept coming into the office and going to my original desk. The peculiar thing is that when new employees were being moved into my department's area of the building no one was assigned to the executive's office so therefore no one was assigned to the executive assistant desk. The new employees that moved in were mostly overflow from different departments so no one really works together or has the same manager. It's been a month and no one has really questioned what I do or what department I'm a part of (I can easily deflect any work related small talk), and I'm still getting paid.
I'm pretty certain if I bring attention to my situation I will be immediately fired because I was the specially hired executive assistant to a VP who lost the company a fair bit of money. I have been looking for alternative jobs but all the jobs that I'm qualified for don't pay nearly as much as what I currently make. Also, I would have to actually do work if I got a new job. The only reason I still come into work is that I don't want to throw up any red flags because each employee is recorded entering and leaving the building by scanning their badge.
I'm thinking about riding this gravy train as long as I can before I eventually get found out and fired. Any comments or suggestions are welcome.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post, your comments gave me some more motivation to look for another job before I inevitably get discovered and fired. That being said, I have not been able find another real job as of yet but I have gone for several interviews so that's promising.
Anyways on to the good bit. Its been almost 3 weeks since my last post and I have still gone completely unnoticed by everyone which is simultaneously a relief and really depressing. It's the lack responsibility and purpose that's becoming increasingly maddening. Similar to u/notdoingshit, I have discovered that not doing anything all day is worse than actually doing some work. Playing video games and surfing the web all day don't make the days go by faster anymore. Therefore, in the past week I have started working under the table for my aunt when I'm in the office instead of sitting there and doing nothing. I know this is a very ethically dubious thing to do but the money's good and it's helping me pay off my debts.
Some background, my aunt runs a small specialty store by herself and receives a lot of email inquiries that she can barely keep up with. She knew about my situation and asked me to help her respond to these emails. Basically all her emails are forwarded to a gmail account I setup and I spend probably 3-4 hours everyday responding to inquiries and forwarding relevant ones to my aunt. Doing this is helping me to stay sane as well as padding my wallet ($400 a week). I have asked her and she can't afford to pay me full time and I can't afford to work part time, so I can't leave my job unless I find another decent full time job, which I'm still looking for. I know that I will most likely be discovered at the end September during the quarterly review, but if I have to I'm gonna hold on to the very end.
I just wanted to share how I have descended deeper into the rabbit hole. I will welcome any comments or suggestions that you guys have about my situation.

Things have been pretty quiet at my work for the past 3 weeks. I still come into work everyday, spend the mornings answering my aunt's emails and my afternoons looking for other jobs and aimlessly surfing the web. However, I may be facing a huge problem this Friday.
There is a mandatory picnic/corporate team building thing this Friday that involves each employee being separated into departmental teams, which is problematic because the department that I was previously a part of no longer exists. It's the most important event of the year for our company and attendance is absolutely mandatory. Of course you can miss it if you're sick or have a personal matter, but due to a fair number of people calling in sick at last year's event all employee absences will be reviewed and verified by HR, and they will conduct in-person interviews if necessary. I cannot attract even the smallest amount of attention from HR without risking being discovered as a corporate leech so I don't think calling in sick is an option. However, I can't participate in the team building exercises without it being discovered that I'm not currently assigned to any department and I'm in a state of perpetually paid limbo.
The best idea that I've come up with so far is to come the picnic with crutches and pretend that I've sprained my ankle or something, so I can fulfill the attendance requirement and just watch the team building exercises and not take part of them (based on the itinerary most of the events are active and involve being on your feet), but then again doing this will attract attention to myself which is a very bad thing when management and HR are around. I welcome any suggestions on the best way to get out of this predicament.

Sorry for the delay in my update I've actually been going for interviews (two interviews so far) this week at an unnamed multinational insurance company, so I've been busy preparing and generally stressing out.
Anyways, on to the events of last Friday's company picnic. I did think about not showing up like many of you suggested but I was sure there was an attendance sheet so I thought of another way to go about things. I arrived at the picnic about 15 mins early when everyone was still busy setting up things, found the attendance sheet (or rather booklet) at the sign in table which was thankfully unattended, and discretely rifled through it until I found my name and signed next to it. I then shuffled away to the parking lot, and drove home to spend the rest of the day drinking beer and watching an ungodly number of Narcos episodes.
The interesting thing is that when I found my name on the attendance sheet I saw that I was listed as belonging to my former, now defunct, department. If the names had been sorted by department it would have raised some red flags but thankfully they were sorted alphabetically so all the departments were jumbled together and I was lost in fray. I'm just one misplaced entry in some spreadsheet or database that someone like me has been too lazy to double-check.
Hopefully I get called back for the third and final interview for the insurance company so I can finally leave this job.

I apologize for the two month delay after my last post but there have been some very big developments in my employment/living situation and I've been very busy (also I forgot). I was eventually able to find another job for which I had to relocate to another city (not a big deal it's only an hour from where I originally lived).
Anyways onto the good stuff. About two weeks after my previous post, I interviewed for my current job and was offered a position so I had to find a way to quit without drawing any attention to myself. I waited all week until Friday at 3pm, which is when all the pay cheques are sent out, and then I waited another hour and a half before I went to HR to submit my resignation. As I expected the HR person I was directed to speak to about ending my employment was barely functioning (it was 4:30 on a Friday). She barely acknowledged me and just gave me a form to fill out and told me she would enter all the information into the system on Monday morning and then follow up with me. After that I walked out of the building and decided to treat myself to some ice cream before I went home to finish packing up my things for my move the next day. I did receive a call from the HR lady Monday morning and she asked why I was listed as being a part of a defunct department and who my supervisor was. I kinda panicked and told her I didn't know what she was talking about and that all of my information should be in the system before telling her I had to go and hanging up. I guess that worked because I have not received any other calls or emails from that company for the last two months.
This is will probably be my last post about the situation I was in unless something similar happens to me at my new job which I hope doesn't happen. Thanks for reading and commenting on all my posts.