Yauwee! (or My Boring Life)

It's been over a month since I blogged last. I am not dead yet, but I have been sent to Heck, where this not so mean looking guy spanks me everyday with what looks like a big spoon. I also go everyday to a place, where there are lots of boxes filled with people in it. I think, they are being put there to be harvested. Once they grow out of that box, I think they will be moved to a bigger office with windows. Don't believe what dilbert says, those places are not as cozy as a womb. My routine has been set here, no mountains to trek, no places to hang out all night. I am now spending all my free time looking after two kids - one 3 year old and a 1 month old - the former always crying and the 2nd always sleeping, eating, and pooping. Good boy, he doesn't cry that much, like what Emma does in Friends or something or the other. Au revoir!

Sigh

I am spending the last few minutes in this office now. I quit it and am going back to my home town, Madras.

Namesake

Just following some intermanational nooz...
This American soldier killed in Iraq has been revealed to be a madrasi!! From Madras, USA, not the Madras.
Still, sad news.

Anti-south Songs

Nothing to do, so some south bashing songs.

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HOTEL KERALA-FONIA
Copyright The Yeagles

On the road to Trivandrum
Coconut oil in my hair
Warm smell of avial
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a bright pink tube-light
My tummy rumbled, I felt weak and thin
I had to stop for a bite
There he stood in the doorway
Flicked his mundu in style
And I was thinking to myself
I don't like the look of his sinister smile
Then he lit up a petromax
Muttering "No power today"
More Mallus down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel Kerala-fonia

Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace,
Plenty of bugs at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
It's infested here
It's infested here

His finger's stuck up his nostril
He's got a big, thick mustache
He makes an ugly, ugly noise
But that's just his laugh
Buxom girls clad in pavada
Eating banana chips
Some roll their eyes, and
Some roll their hips
I said to the manager
My room's full of mice
He said,
Don't worry, saar,I sending you
meen karri, brandy and ice
And still those voices were crying from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them pray

Save us from the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,

Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace
Trying to live at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
It is no surprise
It is no surprise (background)
That it swarms with flies

The blind man was pouring
Stale sambar on rice
And he said
We are all just actors here
In Silk Smitha-disguise
And in the dining chamber
We gathered for the feast
We stab it with our
steely knives
But we just can't cut that beef
Last thing I remember
I was writhing on the floor
That cockroach in my appam-stew was the culprit,
I am sure
Relax, said the watchman
This enema will make you well
And his friends laughed as they held me down
God's Own Country? Oh, Hell!

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Sambhar of 69

I had my first real six rupees,
stole it from my father's pants.
went to a madrasi hotel,
to eat the sambhar of 69.
Me and some kadke dost,

had it all and we caught bukhaar,
jimy puked, joey got ulcers,
and Bagga ne maari dakar.

Oh when I went back there now,
the food was as stale as ever,
and though it was 1999,
still the sambhar was being served over there,

that was the worst food of my life.

Therez no use in complaining,
when you got no other place to eat,
rushed in the evening to the doctors clinic, but he too was at the toilet seat, yeah

standing there waiting outside,
nurse told me I will wait forever,
oh and when I held my breath,
I knew that I had to use that loo there
That was the worst food of my life.

Back to the sambhar of 69.

Man I was getting killed,
I was full and restless,
I needed to unwind,
I guess nothing can wait forever - FOREVER... NO!!!!

And now the dhabas are changing,
new dishes have come and gone,
sometimes when I pass that old madrasi lane, I still smell it, I can't be wrong.

Standing in those unwashed clothes,
the waiters still call me in there,
oh the way my nostrils burn,
I know that it will be served forever,
what was the worst food of my life.

yeah it was the sambhar of 69,

the sambhar, the sambhar, the sambhar of 69

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No analysis of these songs.

Papillon

I completed the book Papillon last night. It was a rivetting story, something along the lines of The Count of Monte Cristo, or Robinson Crusoe.
There was something I found very funny in this book. When Papi lands in Trinidad, there is this captain who says how a 'civilized country' like France treats people inhumanely, and the King would never approve of such ill-treatment. Supposing the story is true, and the captain indeed said this in real life, I wonder if he knew about the penal colony in India, Andamans? Was he aware of how His Majesty's Indian Subjects were treated in such places? They were not even common criminals, they were political prisoners. Or was he aware of the treatment of Indians in British India?
Makes you wonder, huh?