Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Customer: My car isn't working and I need you to fix it immediately, this is an emergency


Mechanic: Alright sir what seems to be the problem?

Customer: I don't know, I tried to use my car on friday and it didn't work, now it's monday and I need to get to work and I can't and this needs to be fixed right now.

Mechanic: Can you start the car? Can you even get into your car? Does it make any sounds when you try to start it? Are all 4 tires there?

Customer: I don't know, I don't know what any of that stuff means, I tried to get to work and it wouldn't let me and you need to fix it now because you changed my oil 6 months ago.

Mechanic: Alright well what kind of car are you driving?

Customer: I don't know, a green one, why does that matter?

Mechanic: Please take a look at the back of your car and see if there are any letters or numbers that would indicate a vehicle model or manufacturer

Customer: Ok, my car is a SV2 87K.

Mechanic: No sir that's your license plate. My records indicate that you drive a Nissan Altima, can you confirm that the key you're using to try and get into this car says Nissan on it?

Customer: My key says Lexus but I don't see how that makes a difference, I've been using this key on this car for years and it's always worked, what did you do to my car?

Limitations of pithy sayings

If "you are what you eat" is true, then we all have to be cannibals.

Lucky to have the same feelings as celebrities

Did you know that people of Mumbai were fortunate enough to have felt the same tremors that Amitabh Bacchan felt?

Among those who felt the tremors in Mumbai were megastar Amitabh Bachchan, who
resides in suburban Juhu. "Earthquake in Mumbai ! Did you feel it.. I
did..Shutters and building shook twice for few seconds," Mr Bachchan
tweeted.

-Report from NDTV - i wonder who is the monkey that wrote this.

2nd time Dhanush has let us down

This is the second time that Rajinikanth's son in law Aadukalam Dhanush has let us down - he didn't save anyone from Japan tsunami nor did he come to Marina beach today to swim in the tsunami.

History as taught in school

Who would've thought!! Cleopatra was the ruler of Egypt, Egypt is in Africa, ergo Cleopatra was African - turns out Egyptians are different from Africans, and Cleopatra was Greek, not African (not even North African) as we were taught in school! The more you know...