Funny or Serious?

Decide for yourself!
BBC carries a story about India's five-year-old policeman, and no one knows about it. If a report carries even the word India just once in 10 000 words, the media blows it out of proportion and says the whole report is about India. Some thing awful has been going on for years, and not one newspaper has published it! Not even in the odd news section!

Saurabh has to feed a family of five and so his mother, Ishwari Devi Nagvanshi, holds his hand and takes him the 110km (68 miles) from Bilaspur, where they live, to Raipur.

The mother walks him to his 'office', like she was walking him to crèche, or school.

He is quiet. If you try to talk to him he will either run away or hide behind his mother.

A policeman who runs away? LOL! ROFLMAO!!

[Mrs Nagvanshi] says: "In order to run the house I had no option but to make my child work. It's not nice. He should be jumping around and playing at his age."

Only in India!

The Indian Government (sometimes) has lofty goals for the people it lords over, but the politicians don't make it work. It someone tries to bring some legislation to support the poor, women, or the low-castes, the others create a ruckus, saying it is 'populist'. There have been instances when bills regarding women have been snatched from the speaker and thrown around the house. The schemes for the poor are always misused by everyone!
While the government is planning on such legislation, like free school for girl children, another girl killed herself because she couldn't afford one rupee! Funny how the second news wasn't seen in any newspapers or TV, probably because it was a homeless child? This is India Shining!! While this is happening in one part of India, there is a movie star supporting pre-marital sex and 'people' protesting against it, because it 'tarnishes the image of Tamil women'. Living in Bombay, I read everyday how the 'Bollywood stars' say it is not big deal, and the politicians silent about it, even if they band up every year to prevent Valentine's Day. Some kind of understanding?

Yesterday my father called me and asked me what TV I had bought. Then he tells me I am staying alone and so I should filter the programmes that I watch. 'There are certain undesirable channels that I should avoid and he didn't want to advice me on such matter.' I hit puberty and he hit conservatism, along with his friends. Whenever my brother's friend's mother talks to my mother it is always about horror stories - how she saw the son of a neighbour cruising with his 'girlfriend' on his motorcycle. After that, I was not allowed to take out my scooter anywhere outside, giving such lame reasons as how it was not safe anymore to drive in the city, and they did not want to lose me. Just before I left for Bombay, my father and I went to see his a state official friend. I guess it was a covert 'counse'ling and warning' operation. She started telling him stories about how one of her friend's innocent son was 'stolen away from his mother' by his girlfriend from another caste (or religion, I don't remember), and how another one was 'murdered' (she believes), because he had married a girl from some other caste (or religion). Then my father turns to me and says I have to heed his advice as it is 'only for my good'.

Does these things happen only to me?

Conferences on Friday Evenings are bummer

I am just back from a CxO meet organized by a famous lobby group and a very famous research group. There were presentations by 2 people, two VPs of that group. What I know about Americans/Europeans from TV and movies is not at all true. Everybody looks light brown on TV, but these guys were the pinkest I've seen. Pinker than the Spanish guy I met at the Gateway of India when I moved to Mumbai. They talk as if their noses were stuffed, I could understand what they said, but it appeared like they were talking in a silly voice, like my cousin talks My boss sat for just one presentation (by the first VP) and left. He had a lot of work. But, the sales guys went out within 15 mintues after my boss left. Must've been over their head. My company has the laziest sales team I've ever seen. One wanted my boss to 'just include his name' whenever he writes a paper, and the other one says he doesn't do anything other than what is said, because people then expect him to do something. People ask him to work? That must be horrible! While our biggest competitor was there, handing out business cards to all the CIOs present there, and working, they went out 'for a smoke.'I met them outside and they say to me, 'let them meet 20 people. What's the big deal? I will get 20 of them as clients'. They blew up the one chance they had to meet top 15 or 20 executives at one place, for free!

After that, I came back to the company and saw the common newspaper lying in the lobby. I picked it up and started reading it, when this duffer programmer comes up and 'asks' if he can have it. I said, I just started reading it man, and he goes to another guy and started cribbing about me. He starts badmouthing me in Hindi/Marathi to the other programmer, not knowing I knew Hindi. I don't know what I did to offend him! I've barely talked to that idiot. There was one guy leaving our company to join some MNC. I asked him how much of increase there would be in his salary (expecting something like 80% or 90%), the previous guys pips in and says 'X Lakhs, X Lakhs'. I guess he did that to deride me or something. I just smiled, he has worked 4x as long as I have and it was still about 25% less than what I get. Umm... Yeah!

Looking for a terrible girlfriend for one week

I am looking for a terrible girlfriend for one week to restore my happiness in being single. Now that I have joined work, and started living in Mumbail, I see people married, just engaged, and in a relationship (and tying up all the phone lines). I was content to be single all now, but now that I have been exposed to all these happy people in relationships, I'm starting to wonder if I need one too.

In my head, I know I don't, but let's make this concrete with an experience. This is where you come in. I need you around for one week in the role of a bad girlfriend to renew my glee in being single.

My requirements of you:
-You must be attractive. Sorry, but if this is to work out for me, you have to be a pretty girl who is nice to look at but a total bitch otherwise.
-Be very needy. Call me several times a day, checking where I am, who I'm with, etc.
-Have excessive manners not found anywhere outside Victorian England. When we go out, I want you nag me to use my napkin, tell to tip like your father, and, never open doors yourself, that sort of thing.
-It would be nice if you have feminist leanings so we can get into fun arguments
-Never let me even look at the shadow of another girl. Shout when any girl comes within 2 kilometres of me.
-Never let me talk.
-Never pay for anything (reasonable pre-agreed-to limit, exception: see below).
-Insist on taking a cab everywhere, even for less than a kilometre.
-Criticise all my outfits.
-Have wildly inaccurate information and unfounded opinions. It is your mission that you are right about everything, conversely, I am wrong about everything.
-Don't let me talk to any of my long-time male friends.
-Steal something of mine. I will set out one designated thing that you must steal from my house. You will steal this and nothing else.
-Don't be too upset when I end things after a week (and part of this deal is that I am the one to break things off). You know what you're getting into and do not form any untoward bond.

After the week is up we can either be friends and laugh about this, or we can pretend that we've never met and ignore each other if we happen to meet in a public place.

What do you get out of it?

At least 5 nights out (you pay your half, sorry. I am not rich). One stolen item (of my choosing). A good story to tell people later. Satisfaction that you are also single. A chance to vent your spleen. A dissatisfying tryst for both of us.

You'd be a fool to pass up this opportunity!

In Mumbai only

(modified from craigslist, I am not all that creative)

Psycho Finance person

[Antione Bechara], an associate professor of neurology at the University of Iowa, said the best stock market investors might plausibly be called "functional psychopaths."

I know atleast one person in this company, and atleast ten people in my b-school, who I thought could be somewhat crazy. This study just proves my hypotheses right :) I feel the same way about the accountant lady too.

The result was those with brain damage outperformed those without.

Maybe this is why I am so afraid of the sharemarket.

Fellow author, Baba Shiv of Stanford Graduate School of Business said many company chiefs and top lawyers may also show they share the same trait.

Interesting, a study was made about a year back by Discovery (Channel) on Psycho Bosses. Does this mean I can't be a successful boss?